The Making of the Song 'Banjaraa'

(((This story won me the 1st prize in a National competition in IBM

                    ...wait...did I say 'story'?)))

“Naa re”, said Ambar, “D- minor isn’t working…man”.

 It was November. Ya…24th…so…25th…yes it was 25th November’06.We had booked the studio for the 27th, to record the last song of our new album. This one would be a pure romantic unplugged melody. But, we weren’t getting the chords right.

Overconfidence was eating on us. We shouldn't have booked the studio before having completed the song. However, we had taken it up...so we had to do it to complete the project.

It was 4 a.m.; and as usual, Ambar and I were at my terrace. My cell phone contained the lyrics. Our jackets helped a great deal as we sat there with a guitar, in an Assamese winter night.

“When I saw you for the first time……….” we kept trying. Lots of changes. Lots of crap. But finally, the product was ready. ‘Banjaraa’ was complete.

 “Yes…!!”, we said together. We loved this song. Also, I had written this for someone special and unlike the other songs, it was lending vocals to it too. So, it was all the more close to my heart. It was 5 now.

“You loved that part na”, said Ambar, and sang ‘Aankhen bujhaaun to dikh jaati hai wo, Kholun to jaaye kahaan….’ “Yes bro, that’s the USP of this song. One voice. One guitar. One lovely piece of lyrics. Peace of mind. Piece of art”, I said in my poetic style.

Just then my cell rang. 9164724280. “Don’t know who’s this. Just a moment. You keep humming that long…”

“Hello…I am Ambar’s uncle. Just a moment. Bhaviji …Lijiye baat kijiye”, and he handed the phone over to Anisha Aunty(Ambar’s mom).

 “Yes Aunty…”

 “Son, Ambar wanted to meet you once. I don’t know what he had to say…” , and she started crying.

Ambar’s uncle got back the phone. He said, “How could you do this? He was your best friend …right?

Did he not deserve a word from you before he died last night?”.

I turned. Ambar wasn’t there. My phone fell flat on the terrace. The call got disconnected. In a second the cell beeped. 1 message. From Ambar.

 “Hey see…Job done naa?..I’m leaving, but Shloka must rock…we must be the best band in the country…tell Arghya...cheers…I’ll be there with you guys…always”.

 I fainted.

(It's been 3 years now. Banjaraa never got recorded. Shloka now has a changed lineup and a changed name. We can still feel his presence when we jam. For us, he hasn't gone anywhere. He is right here...in our music.He is the reason why we call ourselves 'DIVINE Raaga')

4. Top View (Joseph...the colleague) and more...

(((Hang on....Have you read Chapters 1,2 and 3 below? If you haven't, please do....)))

"It was close to what is termed as 'Love at first sight'. This Hindu girl joined our company as a fresher. I was on my toes for that smile. Sadly, she was married.

She joined in a different team. A couple of months later, I shifted. The friendship grew. I cracked jokes just to see that dimple appear again. I knew that somewhere, I was doing it wrong. But I couldn't stop myself. She seemed to like my company as well.

Once, we had an office tour. Kanika drank for the first time. At about 1am, she called me to her room. We talked throughout the night. She told me the problem of her life. Her husband was impotent. I guess a lot more could have happened that night if I wanted. But I chose not to make use of the fact that she was drunk. I chose to stay a friend.

Days later, I met the guy. He was nice, but by no way deserved Kanika.

I wanted their divorce.I don't know whether it was my love or something else.The only thing I knew was that Kanika's life was getting ruined; and I didn't want that.

I started threatening the guy.In a changed voice, I made him feel that he was a burden on Kanika's life. I asked him to kill himself.

Weeks later, the I threatened to kill him.

Shekhar died in an accident after a few days.

Later that year, I married Kanika. We are happy now. But, there's something that worries me all the time.

Today, a salesman came and asked for Shekhar. I told him that he is dead. He looked at me in an unusual way.The look is worrying me.

It's been more than a year and I don't want anything to go wrong now."

P.S.:

5. Centre View (God....the creator):

 "..............." (God knows !)

6. Back View (ABC....the author):

 "Feel sad for Shekhar, but then, as they say,all's fair in love and war.Wish the new couple a good life ahead. Hope the salesman doesn't have a role to play.

Well Readers, what do think about this story?
What do you think will happen next?
 Please write back.Thank You"

3. Left-hand Side View...(Shekhar...the husband)

"Brother, I am dead. I love my wife. Look at her on the wall pic. Isn't she pretty?

It's my fault actually, or probably nature's. A few months after marriage, we visited the doctor regarding an issue. That's when I came to know the biggest truth of my life.I have a sexual problem. I can't reproduce. Ever since, my wife's been different. I was never allowed to come close after that.

I got my breakfast on time. I was talked to. We watched TV together.And probably,thats it. Months ago, I met this guy called Joseph, Kanika's colleague. I could read from the way they talked, that there was something between the two of them. I was right.

I have been getting calls since last week. The caller says thats I have ruined Kanika's life. I probably have,but I don't think I deserve to die because of that. The caller thinks I should. I know who the caller is. It's Joseph, with a changed voice; and I'm sure Kanika is involved. Isn't this wrong...brother?"

2. Right-hand Side View.... (Kanika...the wife)

"I was twenty-three.It was supposed to be the biggest day of my life. Thousands of people were invited.My dad had mixed emotions.Happy that I was going to a good family; and sad that I was...going away.

The next year saw me change, from a girl to a lady- a wife.He cared for me;taught me a lot of things. He loved me a lot. However, the feeling never seemed to come from my side. I tried all the while. I couldn't. His impotency was surely not his fault. But somehow, it wasn't and couldn't be a problem that wouldn't bother me.

We slept in the same bed, but never. I thought at times that I wasn't a good wife, that I never was able to forgive him for the disease.I was very close to Joseph in office. He often used to come to our place. I was not going around with him, but Shekhar thought otherwise. He always thought that I was in love with Joseph.

One day, I got a call. Shekhar died in an accident.

Months later, Joseph proposed. I went on to marry him. I am happier today.But sometimes I get reminded of that guy. He was nice. He was very submissive and polite. His death, however didn't seem to bother many. But yesterday, there was a young man who called up his number, which we hadn't discarded for various reasons. He didn't even know that Shekhar was dead.

He came home this morning. He looked concerned.He was an Insurance Salesman."

1. The Secret of a Stranger...Front View (the Salesman)

"I was selling insurance those days.(Well...I'm still doing that).I had just completed my MBA from RIMS, Bangalore. I hated that job, but hardly had a choice.
Koramangala Fourth Block was where I had to visit that Sunday. It was all usual, asking tens of people to guide me, going the wrong way, coming back having travelled 3 useless miles and then getting that 'Huh...You Salesman...!' look from the security guard, followed by an 'I am fed up look' from the customer. But that day, the customer was fed up because of something else.
He was a businessman, some 30 years of age, with 'one' wife and no children. He asked me to have a seat. I then had a chance to look at that picture on the wall, as he brought me a glass of Rasna . An extremely pretty lady hugged this semi-bald pale looking guy in the picture.'Lucky', I thought.
 "Brother...", he started. For the first time in three weeks, a customer had used this salutation. "I'll listen to your presentation. I understand your job. I know how difficult it is. But, before that, I want you to listen to my problem"...

" I know its unusual to share this with a stranger. I also know that you are probably not experienced enough to come up with a solution, but I want you to listen..."
I didn't have a choice really. "Sure" is what I said.
" It's so damn personal that I can't share it with anyone; and it's really eating me up from within and I feel that I've got to tell somebody about it...somebody who will never come back...somebody I'll never face again."
It had to do with his wife.He was stuck up in a bad marriage. He told me everything from how they met to what happened that morning. He didn't cry. He rather seemed to make fun of the situation.He was a strange stranger.
An hour later, I spoke my part and came out. It was awkward for me and he knew that. He thanked me, and asked me not to disclose his name to anyone.
He was a screwed up case. I stored his number.
Yesterday, some two years after that Sunday,some sixth sense struck me.I called that number asking for him. A man told me that he was no more.
Today, I confirmed it. He is dead. He died about a year and a half back.I know the reason. I know the culprit. But, I don't know what to do next."

(Coming up next: The Right-hand Side View)

InSAnE....Episode 3 of 3 (Read Episodes 1 & 2 below)

Yash and Natasha were classmates. They had problems with each other. They were actually in the same Assignment Group. I tried my best to sort things out. I failed. The next thing I tried was to keep myself away from all that. I failed again.

MSRIT, an Engineering College in Bangalore, was organizing a Rock event. We were invited. The date was Feb 2. We started practicing from the next day, with just one month to go. We had a 20 minute slot. 4 songs. This time we were going for ‘Beyond God’ and ‘Dare Truth’ as originals, along with ‘Wake me Up’ and ‘Car Crash’.

Natasha had a problem. Jamming was going fine for the first five days. Then, she started missing me. The truth was that I wasn’t giving her time. She watched us jam for the first couple of days. Then, she stopped turning up.

‘What is more important to you…I or your band?’. This was so damn obvious. I tried to explain. We talked the entire night. She cried several times. I had to give up something. I had to ditch. I ditched InSAnE.

 ‘ My lyrics are all yours, but you must look for a new rhythm guy.’ My friends tried their best to get me back. I felt important, but I had nothing to give.

The hunt for the new guitarist was on the next evening. Several guys auditioned. There was this guy who had played earlier for a band called ‘Early Death’. We got him. He has a catchy name… ABC, which stands for Ananya Brata Chakaborty. Another bong, after Gainda but this one was from Assam. I had talked to this guy a couple of times before, but never knew he would be so vital so soon.

Natasha and I carried on. I missed my band. She loved my sacrifice. The fact that I ditched InSAnE was the biggest proof of my commitment to her. That’s the way they are. Can’t help.

Feb 2 was cool. InSAnE rocked, as usual. She enjoyed it as well.

‘But, it was better the last time round, my baby is missing na…’, she added, boogling my cheek. What do I say about that now? The guys came down. We had high fives. We did a hip hip hurray for our new mate ABC. He loved it.

                                         In the picture: the new guy, ABC

‘Hey Nuts….Wassup !’ A tall, handsome guy came and hugged my girl. She was thrilled.

‘When did you come to Bangalore?’. She then moved away and had a long talk with that guy. For the second half of the talk, she wasn’t smiling.

‘Old friend’, she said. I hadn’t asked her anything.

That night, we drank like anything. Yash came to hit me. Ads was angry on me as well. I realized that it was all over for me from InSAnE. Gainda was my only friend from the band now.

‘Now you know who your real friends are’, said Natasha.

The next weekend, she went to see her brother. She didn’t want me to see her off.

Her behavior had changed over the week. The good night kiss had become less passionate. The good morning one had moved out of the window. I asked her what the problem was. She didn’t speak. Suddenly, studies had become more important.

The next weekend, she went again…to meet her brother. This time, I followed. It was the same guy who we saw on the day of the Rock Show. They were at a CCD. I backed off.

I asked her to speak out the truth. She didn’t. I told her what I saw. ‘ How dare you follow me like that, how long have you known me?’ I found that strange. I knew very well that things were going wrong.

A couple of days later, we talked like two mature people. She told me the story of Piyush. They started going out when they were in the 8^th standard. They loved each other deeply. Problems rose when they realized that Piyush’s family wouldn’t accept a Christian girl, even though her mom was a Hindu. Piyush then started moving close to some other Hindu girl. However, now he had realized his mistake and wanted her back.

I recollected every bit of the story that night. It hardly made sense. Why did the guy have to fall for some other girl? Why did the realization come after accidentally meeting her at the rock show? Why did this girl come this close to me in a matter of two months, when she already loved someone else?

I wondered what kind of a girl Natasha is. Soon, I realized that orphan Richin didn’t have much left in life. I tried my best to get things sorted. Nothing seemed to work.

The next three months were like hell. The crushes had stopped happening.Even Gainda had started avoiding me. After all, he had to stay close to InSAnE. Perhaps, even he was asked to make a choice.

The Summer Vacation was month long from July 15. I went home. My mom’s elder brother had been looking after me since Mom and Dad passed away in an accident in 2003. I have mostly been out after that, and the money he spends on me is my Dad’s money, which he says, would be over soon. I have never really been treated nicely by them. This month was no different.

02 Aug 2009.I was back from home. The train halted at the Bangalore station. I got down.

“Bhaiyya…Alliance…BTM”. “120 ”. 

At 3 in the afternoon, I reached hostel. I hardly found anyone there. I got into 209…that’s my room. I typed these 8 pages in Microsoft word. Then, I had to do something right away. I had a couple of choices as to how I would go about doing that. I chose the simple way. I placed the blade perpendicular to my left wrist.

 I just had to go. Thats it. Its not about guts and stuff. Its about peace. Life couldn’t give that to me. So, death was the only choice I had.

“Here NOW, I am done with the writing as well. Nakul calling. My Assignment partner. He is the guy who introduced me to ABC. Lucky guy ABC.  InSAnE is cool. I’ll miss them. Oops…How would I miss anybody. They’ll miss me….or perhaps they won’t.

 All I have for this world is this story. Guys in love have a lesson to learn from this. I hope it will be read. And I have this last poem.

I Scream for Peace

Its scary darkness,imprisoned here I live
Its all been taken,nothing for me to give
Will Jesus ever turn up to release...
As I shout,as I scream here for peace ?

No hint o' sound, no ray of light
Not a friend, not an enemy that I can fight
Its so null,so weird, so uninhabited
Its almost as if time's been terminated

My heart is slowly dying out as it beats
I feel dead from the inside, as the history repeats
O...will my Jesus show up and release
Me of myself,as I shout, screaming for peace...

 That’s about it from my side.

I am leaving for Peace.

Bindaas !”

The End….

InSAnE....Episode 2 of 3 (Make sure u've read episode 1)

‘Bhaiyya…Airtel ka 150’. I knew it was the same voice. She was there with a couple of more girls.  I was having Pepsi with Gaindaa.

‘Hi…Natasha..Howz you doing?’

‘Hey dude, I just forgot to take your number the other day...whats it?’. I gave her the number, and got the missed call.

‘ See Ya…’

‘Doooode…who is this ‘maal’?’ ‘Shut your ass up. She is a nice girl.’ ‘Hmmm…really nice !’ I knew what this Gainda meant, but I didn’t say anything.

We started chatting that night.

“You like this place? I mean its really nice. I am in love with Alliance…trust me….”  She spoke like anything.

“You know what, I’ve noted something. There are 3 Deeps in your band, as in Gyaandeep, Aman Deep and Deep himself…Did you ever notice that?”.

 ‘No’ was my call.

Fact was that it was too obvious to go unnoticed. In fact, the last person to note that was Deep’s maid servant ! However, I had to make her feel intelligent. I mean, that can only work in my favour.

“You know what….”, she went on till 4.

 Hardly ever did I have a chance to say that ….she was nice. InSAnE came to know about it the next day, thanks to Gainda. I had agreed for two cigarettes a day, but this Gainda wouldn’t shut his mouth. He wanted 10. ‘Fuck off’ was my answer.

November 16. 11:59. 1 minute to her birthday. ‘I have something for you. Can you open your drawer’? ‘Wow…what’s this?’. ‘You must find out…but hang on….Happy Birthday’

‘Wow wow…how cute is that…Thank You Richin…’. It was a Barbie. She had a treasure of those already. I thought it would be wise to add to that stock. Her roomie helped me with that.

‘There’s a card as well…’.

She was in tears. When you propose, and the girl weeps, you’ve got her ! I had written this poem for her in that card. She liked it. She loved it. About an hour later, I asked her to recite that poem. She did.

I clapped. Gainda raised his eyebrow. She was in tears again.

Natasha’s brother worked for IBM. He lived with his wife, some 15 ks from our college. So, we were never caught dating. He decided to enjoy Christmas and New Year with his family in Coimbatore. Natasha had Nathan’s house keys for a week. She told her brother that she wanted to party with her friends. She did party. However, I happened to be the only invitee.

She was wearing a white UMM top. I had my Iron Maiden on. Both of us knew what was coming up, after the talk. Soon, there was a silence. I knew what it meant. I kissed her forehead.

Soon, we left the drawing room. The bed was kinda heart shaped. Red cover. No music, but that’s okay. She caught hold of my hair, and kissed my face a couple of times. I got back with a smooch, that seemed to last for ever.

‘I love You’, I said after the kiss.

 Sometime later, I said it again. The only difference, this time, we were clothless.

It was fun.

 Opening the bra was the best part of it. I always thought of it as something very difficult. I did it in 2 seconds. I recalled my debit-credit concept. She was wild and cute at the same time. I had condoms, but she didn’t let me use it. She was sure that the intercourse wouldn’t bring a baby. It was some concept which I didn’t really get.

The next morning, I insisted her to take iPill. She did. I felt better. ‘The house will be ours for the next 6 days, as well.’ We made the most of it. My average bra-opening time had increased to about a minute. May be, the first time was just a fluke. We watched that movie ‘Kamasutra’ to get our poses right. Rekha was our coach.

‘Happy New Year’. We wished each other. The last seven days had changed my life. Leave apart the sex part, the day time was wonderful as well. We never moved out. After all, for the rest of Alliance, she was in Coimbatore, and I was in Mysore to meet my cousin. She would cook for me everyday. I saw that spark in her eyes that said she loved me. We had virtually set up a new home. It was time to start missing it. It was New Year.

InSAnE....Episode 1 of 3

02 Aug 2009.I was back from home. The train halted at the Bangalore station. I got down.

“Bhaiyya…Alliance…BTM”. “120 ”.

 At 3 in the afternoon, I reached hostel. I hardly found anyone there. I got into 209…that’s my room. I typed 8 pages in Microsoft word. Then, I had to do something right away. I had a couple of choices as to how I would go about doing that. I chose the simple way. I placed the blade perpendicular to my left wrist.

I just had to go. That’s it. Its not about guts and stuff. Its about peace. Life couldn’t give that to me. So, death was the only choice I had.

About a year ago…

“What the fuck…This asshole…I don’t understand how such wannabes hold such posts…Che Guvera is a vocalist !?” Yash was a bit too fired up. He felt like banging his guitar on the floor. “Chill dude”. I tried to calm him down. This so called ‘head’ of the Cultural Club had called us for an audition for the Freshers’ party. He didn’t say much about our music. All he said was that we needed to look like dopers to hold the stage. He was one of those who would trust us if we said “Summer of ‘69 is our original”. Never mind we knew we would make it.

Gyaandeep is a bong. What we called him is Gaindaa…and not Gyaan Da. He was my roomie. Back from claas I told him… “Dude…this debit and credit thing…I mean…The entire hour he kept telling us ….Debit what comes in and Credit what goes out. I wonder how many times he debits and credits when he fucks Suchita mam”. Gaindaa started doing what he does best, apart from playing the bass. He laughed…he hee heee…and so on…nonstop! 

                                                    In the picture: InSAnE

         

Maths is good. Only Deep was better than me at that. This geek had a voice. I assure he was the highest scoring vocalist in the country…that’s in terms of grades of course. He never talked much….tell him the song…he will practice for a couple of hours…and rock the stage. A true champion.

I played rhythm for ‘InSAnE’. I was one of those happy-go-lucky types. ‘Bindaas’ was a word most often used during the day. With a crush count touching 2 a day, I was still looking for ‘my girl’. However, I did well in jotting down stuff. That made me the InSAnE lyricist too. Right now, I liked that girl called Shikha. She was my classmate. Her boyfriend Archit always sat next to her in class. Archit was my friend too. “Light case….Bindaas”.

Aman Deep Singh aka ‘Ads’. A sardaar playing the drums…isn’t that InSAnE? He always insisted on inserting Punjabi words into metal. He never earned a vote for that. The Amritsar Rock Fest was another such idea. However, this guy was kind of an USP for our band, and perhaps the reason behind its name too.

We guys have been together for about two and a half years now. We started jamming sometime in October’06. We were in the 11^th standard then, in Pune. Those two years saw us perform in various shows across India. We were pretty much known in the fraternity by now. Our best moment came when Luke Kenny said “I see myself in these guys…trust me”. That happened in ‘Launch Pad’, about a year ago. Post standard 12, we decided to be together. Deep wouldn’t settle for anything less than Alliance Business Academy for his BBA. So, the rest of us joined him as well. InSAnE was now based in Bangalore.

We’d been here for a couple of months now. Freshers’ Day was closing in. This time we would be playing for the Alliance crowd. We usually perform a couple of Hindi songs before doing our originals. We were to perform our ‘Keys to Heaven’ and ‘False Hope’, backing that up with ‘Laundry ka Bill’ and ‘Akhree Alvida’.

November 1 2008. Freshers’ Day. “O teri…Black wali ko dekh”. Aman was getting treated to some real beauty. “Allaince Girls smell superb…Hmmm”….said Deep. The best thing of course was that we were looking great too. I always try to impress the girls, but somehow Deep takes them away. I don’t understand why they come close to Deep and say… ‘What voice and what lyrics…!’. I mean I write all that, and this Deep would never say that when the girls are around.

“And now…hold your hearts, coz for the first time in the History of Alliance, we have our own Rock Band…so lets hear it from InSAnE….”

“I love that voice…that voice of the crowd…that for me is the voice of God”…I said… “And the voice of Deep is taking all the mini skirts away” added Yash. Another laugh. The show was a success. We were getting compliments every now and then. I doubt that smile which beautiful girls have when they praise. I don’t know why, but I feel it says… ‘Dude, I know how desperate you are to get a praise from me’. I may be wrong, but…

                                                      In the Picture: Natasha

November 3. I was having my breakfast early. The OB professor had called me for something. I was half way through my burger when this girl with silky black hair came close. ‘Hi Richin…I saw you play the other day…It was really good’. ‘Yes, that’s right. You can sit right here if you like ’. Wooo….confidence !

‘How long have you been playing… I mean you sound so pro’.

 ‘Ya thanks…Its been a long time with guitars…with InSAnE, its been a couple of years….’

There was a 5 second pause after this. I then said… ‘You liked Deep?’… ‘I am sorry…who’s Deep?’ Wow…does that happen as well… I wondered. ‘Lead vocalist…InSAnE.’

‘I m sorry, I couldn’t follow all your names…I only remember Richin and Ads…that’s Amar D..’ ‘Aman…Aman Deep Singh’.

‘What’s your name by the way…’. ‘Natasha…Natasha George. My mom is a Hindu. That’s why’.

 ‘Richin by the way is Richin George’.

‘Really…?’

We talked for about fifteen minutes, before class. I didn’t know what the OB professor had to say. However I did know that there’s a girl called Natasha George from Coimbatore. Her birthday falls on 17 November, that’s two weeks from now. That she is pretty….has long silky hair…Black eyes…Sharp nose….and so on…and also that she kinda likes me, and that she didn’t notice Deep as properly as she noticed me. Cool. Bindaas .

I didn’t tell it to anyone. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Tons of thoughts captured my sole mind. I didn’t have her number. Also, we hadn’t decided when to meet next. I went early for breakfast the next day. Didn’t find her.

Mumbai Indians win IPL 3 !!!...(4 matches to go)

It happened in India once again. Three years ago, a minnow in the Indian Cricket History, named ICL was nipped in the bud. Lalit Modi, who is now undergoing a Steve Jobs treatment, joined hands with the BCCI to create IPL, the Indian Premier League...'League' is what I said.

Unfortunately, the mere pressure to kill the ICL was so much, that either the body or Modi, didn't find time to check with the dictionary for what the word 'league' means. "Oops...!!", they must have said after a couple of months, but by then, it was too late.

The IPL, as it turns out, is no league. Teams battle it out for 14 matches each, and then its a knockout. Sad, isn't it..? If they could copy the name from EPL, just like the me-too products in town, they should at least have kept their word...the league.

Anyways,being a Sachin fan,I am happy that Aamchi Mumbai Indians have just won the IP'L'.

(For the confused raeder, I know very well that league means 'an association of teams or clubs that compete chiefly among themselves'. There is however, another usage of league, opposite in meaning to 'knockout'.)

Life v/s Me...

It all seemed to have happened together, one after the other. My parents never landed after their flight took off from Delhi. I kept waiting at the Mumbai airport. They never arrived. A month later, a friend reported about my girlfriend dating some other guy. We broke up. Dad had three sisters in Dubai. Mom's brother refused to be my guardian, and I had to drop out of college. Everyone found it strange, but I never cried.

I was 21 then, into my final year of BBA. I knew it was me alone who had to turn the tide. I went back to Delhi.After a lot af formalities there,dad's money was now mine.Later that year, I started the business of selling rolls, in a set up which I had not named after my parents. I called it 'Rock n Roll'. My old friend Nikki got me the best of Rock Music, and that became the theme for my outlet. Rock Music and a wide variety of rolls...that's Rock n Roll.

                                   In the picture: that's me,Aasad Mullick

Two years later, I fell in love with a Hindu girl. She loved me a lot and somehow expected me to be possessive. I wasn't and I couldn't be. After all, I lived cause I wasn't.

One night, when she had lost her cell phone, and I had no one to talk to, I looked back at life. I realised how different I had been from what the world wanted me to be....what they all expected me to be. When they thought I would cry, I never did. Some expected me to go spiritual, I didn't. And then, Anjali expected me to be possessive.

Life, as I learn, is always there to screw you. Can't really escape fate, can we? But then, there's one thing we can do. When life fucks, participate. Then it wouldn't be a rape, it will be like sex. We can enjoy the challenges. We can fight back. Life can only push, whether we fall or not depends on our balance. Life will expect us to behave conventionally, when we don't we confuse it, and that's when we go on to win this game of Chess, designed by life.

Today, at 34,I am happy with my little family. My son Aamir, daughter Husnaara and wife..... Shabana.

(P.S.: Rock n Roll now has nine outlets in Delhi. The business is growing at a nice pace)

'U' for Uth...

Not a million bucks, but some rocking dreams
And a belief so strong makes it easier than it seems
To break through the world on our own
Not through the fuckin' paths the big guys have shown

It's a world of our own and our own desire
Is gonna move us on and take us higher
All the way to the peaks so high
That not every other guy can dare try

We gonna prove to the world and surely will
We gonna try try n try till
We get what we guys are here for
Coz the track is right and that's for sure

We've just gottu focus on our goal
N give it everythin' heart n soul

We gottu try till the end and try hard
Take the praises for our guts and just discard
Those suckin' comments that would come all day
For us having taken the unwanted way

Lets just close our eyes and talk to ourselves
I bet my friends, it always helps
In getting through those disturbing thoughts
Never mind...it's a challenge of sorts

When you see two ways in front of your eyes
Just take the path less travelled by
That's what a champion poet had once written
Just need to follow this and we won't be beaten...

WRONG...we will be beaten, will have a fall
But we've gottu stay strong and stand tall
There may be failures day in and day out
But the victory would follow without a doubt.

Take a leaf outta the book of the baby who
Tries n tries so that he can walk too
The scientists too are not bad at all
In lettin' us get rid of the fear to fall

Sow...isn't it easy to go out and win?
Now that we know that failure's no sin
That the toughest of tests are passed and gone
Lets walk along, the show must go on.

(Written on : December 26, 2007...
It was written with the intension of making a RAP out of it...
However, it never worked out that way...).

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar

There were balls being bowled at over 150ks an hour, and at the reciever's end stood that little creature, sixteen years of age, with a lifetime of incredible greatness lying ahead of him.That's where the saga took guard.

From the colour of the ball and the fates of cricketers to the game itself, everything in cricket seems to have changed, barring the class of this individual. The class that gets exhibited not only when the ball races to the boundary, but even more so when the gentleman takes a walk off the crease, having offered the thinnest of edges to the ball, without even waiting for an appeal.

The media made noises, the bowlers sledged, the umpires adjudged incorrectly; but the man remained quiet.

Young cricketers emerged, played their game, got hiped, got compared to this great; but the fact remained.

I really do not follow the game as much as anyone. I am no expert. I am no die hard fan.

Cricket is not my religion...yet Sachin is my god.

Preetam Da : the Korean superstar !

Preetam happens to be one of India's most popular Music Directors, with bags of awards under his belt. I truly admire the way his songs are mixed and presented. However, its really sad the way he copies the tunes of other songs, mostly Korean. (Note : The Korean Police force doesn't operate in India...)

                                                 In the picture: Preetam Chakraborty

For me, music is supposed to be like some religion. You don't steal when you pray.If one is impressed by certain piece of music and wants to use it in his own way, it's fine. But, why fool the world? Why claim to have composed it all yourself...?

I believe that Preetam does have enough talent to create good music on his own. May God be his shepherd.

Rakshit

It was the summer vacation back in our 2nd year of Engineering. Most of our friends, including my rock band members had gone home, but three of us had decided to stay back.

We were travelling to Nandi Hills, a place some 60ks from Bangalore. Races were nothing new for us. This time it was Pawan against Rakshit. We were three of us. Pawan being the champion biker, had me behind. Despite that he was leading the race. I was shouting on top of my voice. Travelling with Pawan is some experience.

Minutes later, Rakshit was nowhere to be seen. We,as in Pawan was leading the race by a long way. We stopped after a while. A minute passed but he was still not there. Pawan turned a 'U'. We found Rakshit a while later. He was down on the road, with his bike a few metres away. It had skidded.

Having parked his Pulsar by the side of the road, we rushed back to the city, all three of us on the same bike. Rakshit was being able to speak. We managed to admit him into the Ramaiah Hospital, where Pawan's brother was a doctor.

A couple of hours later, the situation looked under control. Rakshit was smiling in his private cabin.

"Never again with Pawan yaa...he's a champ." " And Hussain", he said to me "Yaar, bring your guitar man. Just sing me that Sutta song and you'll find me running around in no time"

At a point of time, I was really worried but now, I was happy that he was recovering. I went into my room, picked my guitar, but then thought I need to take a bath.

Some twenty minutes later, as I was about to start the bike, I got a call from Pawan. "There's some problem again, I've been calling you man. Bhaai is serious.He is in ICU. Rush in".

There was some internal bleeding, which wasn't identified on time. I could see him through the ICU window. I wanted to sing for him, more desperately than ever before. I couldn't.

We lost him.

I quit singing forever.

                                                      In the picture: Rakshit Kaul

(It's been a long time now. Rakshit's dad still believes that it was me who killed him. A case was also filed. He lost the case. I was set free.)

Blind Love: Attaining the status of 'Oxymoron'

In the good ole' days, there existed a thing by the name 'blind love'. That species of love was supposedly unconditional. It was all about giving, with a lust-count of 'zero'. Funny ? Ya...that's exactly what it got treated as, by our own generation-Y...

Here again we came forward in cool casuals and asked...why? why blind love? The dads and moms did have answers, but those were not convincing enough. So we decided...let's make this species extinct. We started demanding, fighting for supremacy, expecting without giving, breaking up...all of this and more.

The result: About some ten years ago, blind love went extinct. The people those days were probably not smart enough (like us) to come up with something like a 'Save Blind Love Initiative'. 


Some of the recognitions that Blind Love attained over the last decade are mentioned below:

2003: The ex-thing
2007: Un-cool
2010: Oxymoron


(FYI : from wikipedia

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons, or sometimes the Greek plural oxymora) (from Greek ὀξύμωρον, "sharp dull") is a figure of speech that combines normally contradictory terms. They appear in a variety of contexts, including inadvertent errors such as extremely average, deliberate puns like same difference, and literary oxymorons that have been crafted to reveal a paradox.
 Other oxymorons of this kind include the following:

• Dark sunshine
• Happy depression
• Amazing dullness
• Cold sun
• Living Dead )

Heated up by (the) Ray's...

This one's for Prof. Ray Titus...

Ray Titus is the name of my favorite speaker. He is the Head of the Marketing Deptt. at Alliance B School, Bangalore...This man has taught us a thing or two about consumers; and the extent to which they are fooled by a marketer. All you need to do is to get inside the heads of the consumers...but hey...!!..that's not easy.

He tried explaining why two different fairness creams or two different soaps are 'just not different man..!!!'. Later I tried reading the reactions of his students (my pals). They were angry. They believed that the things that the ad-men portray as different are different..."DIFFERENT".... Oh...I am tired of using this word now. And the reason is that...not just in this blog, but everywhere on earth, especially in India, this word appears in red, not literally, but most definitely ( hope you get that).

                                           In the picture: Prof. Ray Titus

Coming back, Prof. Ray found it difficult to convince the class that they were a bunch of fools who go by the ads. At the end of the day, he couldn't; and I bet, therefore, that no one ever can. Its sad, but thats the way it is.

Hang on...did I just say 'sad'...? Well it surely isn't cause thats the reason why we, the future marketers are gonna be paid huge packages. We just got to fool people, by understanding their psyche. This miilon dollar job is a million times easier than letting the same people know that they are fools...So...I am happy...!

(In short, its easy to fool someone but its difficult to make the fool know that he is...a fool).

I recommend everyone to follow his blog http://buyerbehaviour.blogspot.com/

And I fell in love...

I just kept looking at her...staring rather, as she walked besides me, and made her way to her seat. The fairest of them all, with long hair, neatly tied. Eyes that expressed love, seemingly for me. And I fell in love...


The gods had started proving their invincible strength. My mouth was still open as I listened her speak. Her lips dripped sweet honey as she spoke in a voice that was so....i didn't know what....And I fell in love...


Minutes later, she came closer ;looked at my eyes and said something. I couldn't hear, as the sound of her beauty had disabled all my senses, ears included. I pinched myself...and ow my gawd....I was not dreaming. And I fell in love...


                                        


She was twenty-two. She had a purse that looked so different. She had a walk that spelled confidence. I just loved that attitude. She was divine. I was just nine...And I fell in love...




(This happened in 1994. I was in St.Xavier's School...4th standard. Her name was Angelina...what a name !...she taught us English, and I learnt how to love...:)

How Naveen got lucky...

We were right out of school, into Engineering. Two of us were pals since nursery, thats Shafqat and I. It had been some 3-4 months in Bangalore, when the three of us boarded a bus from Forum towards college, with no idea of the fact that the journey had history in store.

A seat got empty, and we offered it to Shafqat, who was going through the holy month of Moharram. Suddenly, Naveen looked excited. There was a girl standing somewhere near where the driver was, some five metres away. " I know her. She is from my school".

"Call her here", I recommended. Naveen was an ass (note: now he isn't). I made sure that happens. Shafqat sacrificed his seat, and Naveen had to call her to avoid kicks from us back in hostel.

"Mahima....", he hailed. I could see the smile. The next minute, we saw the two of them seated together, thanks to another vacancy at the right time. We came to know later that night that the girl was doing her BBM from the same city.They were in the same school in Jaipur, and we made sure that he believes to have had a crush on her.That was fun.We almost hypnotized him into love.

                                     

That was some ten years ago, back in 2004. Today, that journey just seemed to flash in front of my eyes when I read that mail..."Naveen weds Kasturee"...

Ya...not the same girl. But trust me, the five years of his love life with Mahima had changed this guy completely, for the better. Things didn't work out after a period of time, but really think that girl came into his life like an angel, and created a dude out of our stupid pal, who now manages the sales department of Pepsi, in Canberra.

I wonder why fairy tails don't end the same way these days, as they did.

Anyways, I wish Naveen and Kasturee a lovely married life. May God Bless them.

Hair.... up there !!

I got a new look recently. I went bald.

The next day was very different from other days. I walked outta my room, roamed around in the campus the way I always do....but hey...I didn't have to stop and talk to my college mates...the reason...You guessed it right I guess...I had a new hairstyle...hairstyle..? I mean...head-style or whatever... ( I recommend you  go check the dictionary).

I didn't do that to look cool...It was some ritual....In any case I wasn't looking cool anyway.However, I noted this amazing importance that our hairstyle has, in terms of how we look. Trust me, the closest of my pals, the guys n chicks who hang around with me all day, were not making out that it was "bloody me...!!!"...

Probably that's the reason why the modern barbers (aka hair dressers/designers) charge you so much...After all they change you so much....

Moral of the story...if you think that your looks suck...go change your hairstyle**....Good luck.

**conditions apply