02 Aug 2009.I was back from home. The train halted at the Bangalore station. I got down.
“Bhaiyya…Alliance…BTM”. “120 ”.
At 3 in the afternoon, I reached hostel. I hardly found anyone there. I got into 209…that’s my room. I typed 8 pages in Microsoft word. Then, I had to do something right away. I had a couple of choices as to how I would go about doing that. I chose the simple way. I placed the blade perpendicular to my left wrist.
I just had to go. That’s it. Its not about guts and stuff. Its about peace. Life couldn’t give that to me. So, death was the only choice I had.
About a year ago…
“What the fuck…This asshole…I don’t understand how such wannabes hold such posts…Che Guvera is a vocalist !?” Yash was a bit too fired up. He felt like banging his guitar on the floor. “Chill dude”. I tried to calm him down. This so called ‘head’ of the Cultural Club had called us for an audition for the Freshers’ party. He didn’t say much about our music. All he said was that we needed to look like dopers to hold the stage. He was one of those who would trust us if we said “Summer of ‘69 is our original”. Never mind we knew we would make it.
Gyaandeep is a bong. What we called him is Gaindaa…and not Gyaan Da. He was my roomie. Back from claas I told him… “Dude…this debit and credit thing…I mean…The entire hour he kept telling us ….Debit what comes in and Credit what goes out. I wonder how many times he debits and credits when he fucks Suchita mam”. Gaindaa started doing what he does best, apart from playing the bass. He laughed…he hee heee…and so on…nonstop!
In the picture: InSAnE
Maths is good. Only Deep was better than me at that. This geek had a voice. I assure he was the highest scoring vocalist in the country…that’s in terms of grades of course. He never talked much….tell him the song…he will practice for a couple of hours…and rock the stage. A true champion.
I played rhythm for ‘InSAnE’. I was one of those happy-go-lucky types. ‘Bindaas’ was a word most often used during the day. With a crush count touching 2 a day, I was still looking for ‘my girl’. However, I did well in jotting down stuff. That made me the InSAnE lyricist too. Right now, I liked that girl called Shikha. She was my classmate. Her boyfriend Archit always sat next to her in class. Archit was my friend too. “Light case….Bindaas”.
Aman Deep Singh aka ‘Ads’. A sardaar playing the drums…isn’t that InSAnE? He always insisted on inserting Punjabi words into metal. He never earned a vote for that. The Amritsar Rock Fest was another such idea. However, this guy was kind of an USP for our band, and perhaps the reason behind its name too.
We guys have been together for about two and a half years now. We started jamming sometime in October’06. We were in the 11th standard then, in Pune. Those two years saw us perform in various shows across India. We were pretty much known in the fraternity by now. Our best moment came when Luke Kenny said “I see myself in these guys…trust me”. That happened in ‘Launch Pad’, about a year ago. Post standard 12, we decided to be together. Deep wouldn’t settle for anything less than Alliance Business Academy for his BBA. So, the rest of us joined him as well. InSAnE was now based in Bangalore.
We’d been here for a couple of months now. Freshers’ Day was closing in. This time we would be playing for the Alliance crowd. We usually perform a couple of Hindi songs before doing our originals. We were to perform our ‘Keys to Heaven’ and ‘False Hope’, backing that up with ‘Laundry ka Bill’ and ‘Akhree Alvida’.
November 1 2008. Freshers’ Day. “O teri…Black wali ko dekh”. Aman was getting treated to some real beauty. “Allaince Girls smell superb…Hmmm”….said Deep. The best thing of course was that we were looking great too. I always try to impress the girls, but somehow Deep takes them away. I don’t understand why they come close to Deep and say… ‘What voice and what lyrics…!’. I mean I write all that, and this Deep would never say that when the girls are around.
“And now…hold your hearts, coz for the first time in the History of Alliance, we have our own Rock Band…so lets hear it from InSAnE….”
“I love that voice…that voice of the crowd…that for me is the voice of God”…I said… “And the voice of Deep is taking all the mini skirts away” added Yash. Another laugh. The show was a success. We were getting compliments every now and then. I doubt that smile which beautiful girls have when they praise. I don’t know why, but I feel it says… ‘Dude, I know how desperate you are to get a praise from me’. I may be wrong, but…
In the Picture: Natasha
November 3. I was having my breakfast early. The OB professor had called me for something. I was half way through my burger when this girl with silky black hair came close. ‘Hi Richin…I saw you play the other day…It was really good’. ‘Yes, that’s right. You can sit right here if you like ’. Wooo….confidence !
‘How long have you been playing… I mean you sound so pro’.
‘Ya thanks…Its been a long time with guitars…with InSAnE, its been a couple of years….’
There was a 5 second pause after this. I then said… ‘You liked Deep?’… ‘I am sorry…who’s Deep?’ Wow…does that happen as well… I wondered. ‘Lead vocalist…InSAnE.’
‘I m sorry, I couldn’t follow all your names…I only remember Richin and Ads…that’s Amar D..’ ‘Aman…Aman Deep Singh’.
‘What’s your name by the way…’. ‘Natasha…Natasha George. My mom is a Hindu. That’s why’.
‘Richin by the way is Richin George’.
‘Really…?’
We talked for about fifteen minutes, before class. I didn’t know what the OB professor had to say. However I did know that there’s a girl called Natasha George from Coimbatore. Her birthday falls on 17 November, that’s two weeks from now. That she is pretty….has long silky hair…Black eyes…Sharp nose….and so on…and also that she kinda likes me, and that she didn’t notice Deep as properly as she noticed me. Cool. Bindaas .
I didn’t tell it to anyone. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Tons of thoughts captured my sole mind. I didn’t have her number. Also, we hadn’t decided when to meet next. I went early for breakfast the next day. Didn’t find her.
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